The BIG Delusion: despite people dying all around us, we don’t think it will ever happen to us. We can’t allow ourselves to think about that. It’s too scary, Same thing with relationships. All around you, divorce, drama, betrayal. But no, that would never happen to me, Until, like everyone else, it eventually does. Unless…

The Female Chase Toolbox: that sexy walk, the new eyeliner, the fingertip massage, the fluttering of her eyes, the feminine, She enjoys dipping into her toolbox. But she rarely gets the chance or even needs to. These guys are all putting her on a pedestal. These guys are all smitten already. How fun it would be to dip into the bag and pull out some of my best female tricks so i can win him over. He doesn’t let me play.

The “Lack of Manhood is your problem” Delusion: this whole industry built around biblical manhood. alpha awakening blah blah blah… as if this issue is we don’t chop wood anymore, or eat raw meat, or our muscles aren’t big enough and the new generation wears skinny jeans and hags in the metaverse

that’s not the issue. the real issue is, the real way to be a man in a woman’s eyes is – she can’t tame your humor or great mood (silly), you put a high price tag on your time, you can calmly say no and set boundaries and you can do something sweet once in a while (oh by the ay you have to be able to do this with a woman you are head over heels for and have 100% interest in) – emotional self control, delay gratification

that is manhood when it comes to women. now all that other stuff is great, but it’s not really that important when it comes to keeping a woman. Do that other stuff for yourself.

The toughest man in the world can have 100% interest and delay gratification and have self control. This is the hardest type of delayed gratification as well, we aren’t talking about waiting a week for a cheat day to have some pizza. We are talking about a woman you are madly in love with.

• not apologizing for like her (masculine)
• despite liking her – having self control, patience, and self respect to say no/have boundaries and standards (masculine)

Silly messaging beats attractive messaging

You could say….I don’t really like texting (meh, okay) or even better say, it’s hard for me to be serious over text, I’m a bit more serious in person… I’m all silly like a teenage girl on messaging, you’ll have to wait to see me in person.. I’m all hopped up on FUN DIP

—- when you message her, it makes her smile. when she’s with you, you make her smile. And when she’s THINKING about you, it makes her smile.

— just having a list of standards makes you more attractive than 90% of guys (no guy has a list of standards besides looks)

The pleasure chemicals from I’m getting something BETTER. (aka as the #1 feeling). She’s almost happen, it’s almost required for interest to be a few points lower for this to happen. And while you can’t artificially lower your IL (we aren’t robots) You can control yourself (the true masculine quality)

And the silly humor, the positive challenge, the ability to walk away or calmly say no, all of that stuff just CONFIRMS — I’m getting better. Chasing a guy tricks her brain into thinking, if I’m chasing him and putting in all this effort, he must be better. Let me release a bonanza of pleasure chemicals and feel great!

The negative challenge just provides the ILLUSION of better. ie. He’s not into me, so he must be better, Or he cheated, so he must be better. He was mean to me, so maybe he is better. But again, this is all an illusion that she must look past if she can find a guy that can actually give her a positive version of better.

Why is she with you? If she’s not with you because you provide her with the feeling of better, then it’s for another reason. Her agenda. Control? Nothing better going on (pun intended)

Feeling like you are getting something better release a bonanza of pleasure chemicals. And the crazy part is, sometimes you don’t even have her and you still feel amazing. This is why you’re still obsessed with her after 2 years.

The occasional pain you feel when she’s dating someone else or rejecting you, isn’t enough to overtake the pleasure you feel just by liking and trying to get someone better.

This is the same reason she continues to chase and stay with the bad boy for 5 years. It’s not about actually getting him. Or getting him to change. It’s about the pleasure of going after something better. He represents that drive for something better, Actually getting him would just be a bonus, *the only way she’s leaving or forgetting about him is to give her the positive version of better

Even if she’s not currently hung up on a negative challenge or has one on her past – we are all competing against the idea of capturing the unattainable. Just by liking her you are already at a disadvantage. Once the club let’s you in, it’s not as cool as the club that turns you away. Once a college accepts you it’s not as great is the one that you didn’t get into. And that’s all fine, just make sure to give her the positive version of better.

Whoever has the higher interest level gets the bonanza of pleasure chemicals for getting something better. And the one with the lower interest does not.

You’re just the next guy to come along on her quest for BETTER

1. I think he might be better, I’m intrigued (physical attraction, status) IL 60
2. I’m starting to conform that he is better (humor, challenge, he can calmly say no) IL 75
3. I’m chasing him and he allows me to keep putting in the effort to keep him interested (yep, it’s confirmed, this I am getting something better) IL 90
4. My brain rewards me with a bonanza of pleasure chemicals and I feel amazing IL 100

Even if you’re perfect on paper.

You are handsome, wealthy, and you treat her like a queen…

If you don’t give her any challenge or positive frustration, she won’t be able to “feel anything” for you.

Of course she will try like heck and wish to the heavens that she could feel something. (anything)

She will wonder why, seek out advice from her best friend, or think that there must be something “wrong” with her….

However in the end, there just won’t be any feelings there.

So, she has to LEAVE you.

On the other hand,…

Let’s say another guy (a negative challenge) looks absolutely horrible on paper.

No job, broke, and treats her bad.

However, because he gives her a challenge (albeit a negative one) she does have feelings for him.

Of course she will try like heck and wish to the heavens that she DIDN’T like him

She will wonder why, ignore advice from her best friend who tells her to drop him, and think that there must be something “wrong” with her….

However, in the end… no matter how hard she tries, she just can’t seem to leave him.

My point –

If you don’t do things right (act like a wimp) she won’t be able to feel anything for you no matter how much she wishes that she could.

However, if you can be a positive challenge and frustrate her in a positive way, she couldn’t leave you even if she wanted to.

Let me say that again…

She couldn’t leave you, even if she really wanted to.

I want her AGENDA to be fulfilled.

I want her to have the exciting engagement, the BIG wedding, the nice house, 2.5 beautiful kids and a husband that loves her 100%.

However, as great as all of those things are –

I want the #1 ENJOYMENT she gets out of being in a relationship with you, to be “the CHALLENGE”.

The thrill of the chase.

The enjoyment of getting to win you over.

The fulfillment of working really hard for something, putting in the effort and actual getting it.

Because if you just put her on a pedestal and never say NO – and you’re available to see her and text 24-7 – the #1 thing she will like about you is that you can fulfill her agenda.

It will be a “control based” (#2 feeling) relationship versus a “chase based” (#1 feeling) relationship.

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I wouldn’t be giving her any specifics about what you’re doing or what you’ve been up to. (No logic)

Now, if she actually wants to see you, then you say…

Sounds fun, but it wouldn’t be fair to Bruce if we hang out.

I’m way too attractive and we want to give Bruce a fair shot at winning your heart. I mean come on, give the poor guy a chance.

What this does is turn the other guy into someone who’s blocking her from doing and seeing who she likes. It also makes him look unattractive.

Of course you’re going to funny and playful with this theme (never serious). And at first she may not even buy into your “I’m the prize” humor.

Ive seen this come up after a breakup where the girl just started dating someone new but still wants to message and see her ex. But the fastest way to get her back isn’t by going to see her, it’s by telling her it wouldn’t be fair to the new guy,

The bottom line is, you don’t want her to be playing two turkeys at the same time.

Once she drops Bruce (the other guy) only then can you go on a date with her.

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But not while the relationship is still going on.

There’s no need for long talks. Or analyzing.

If she says she needs space, you’ll fell like you want to discuss this for hours and figure it all out with her. Instead you just say, cool and disappear for a while.

If it 100% ends, only then do you have that long talk and try to piece together what happened.

As for now, the game is still on. You still have a chance.

And “talking” about an emotional thing like a relationship logically, will only ruin that chance.

Here’s how to get back on schedule –

The first thing to do is call her up and ask her out on a date for a specific day and time. (not to hangout)

And so it really all starts with her picking up her phone. Because if she doesn’t pickup (or call you back), then she’s not putting a high price tag on your attention, and so there will be no date offer.

So now you’ve personally asked her on a date.

She will either say YES I’d love to, or she will says that he’s going to be busy. Women never flat out tell you NO. If she’s busy, she must give you a SPECIFIC counter offer for another day and time. If she says – we’ll do it some other time in the future (vague), that doesn’t count. That’s a “maybe” date that’s never going to happen.

If she says yes – congrats, you now have an official date “on the books”.

So starting now there will be ZERO messaging until the date happens. If she messages you before the date, don’t ignore her message (always be polite) but have the mentality of – hey, let’s save the conversation and stories for the date. This drastically increases the odds that she actually follows through and doesn’t break the date.

If she says she’s busy, with no counter, you will NOT be giving her another date offer until she HINTS that she wants to do something with you. Or, she references the old offer that she originally turned down.

As for messaging, it’s fine to respond if she initiates it (again, don’t be rude or let on that you’re upset) but keep your messages wacky, not logical and don’t give away anything about what you’re up to or what you’ve been doing. This includes being completely dark on social media.

Eventually she will hint that she wants to do something with you. However, odds are that hint will not be ideal. It will be something like wanting to “hang out” or “drop something off” or “watch a movie”. The strategy here is to politely decline her offer and then spin it into something much better like an actual date.

Hey, sounds fun, but I’m going to busy. What I can do. is take you on a date Thursday for the worlds best margaritas.

If she says YES, you are now back on schedule (dating). If she says she can’t go, she’s misses your attention, but not enough to actually go on a date yet. Therefore, you go right back to waiting until she hints at wanting to see you again.

The point is, you only ask her on a date one time. If she doesn’t accept your offer, after that it has to be her idea. She has to HINT.

There are 3 Phases – Which one are you in?

#1: No date is scheduled: if she messages you, call her up and ask her on a date.

#2: You have a date scheduled: no messaging. if she messages you, tell her to save it for the date

#3: She declined a date offer or canceled the date: no messaging, If she messages, you can respond, but be wacky and give away ZERO information about what you’re up to. You’ll have to wait until she hints at wanting to see you. Then spin that hint into an actual date.

Discover your winning messaging strategy inside The Dream Girl Formula

Meaning she can “enhance” all the different the areas of your life.

She can make work more enjoyable, as you look forward to your date this weekend. She can make going to the gym feel easier. She can make time spent with your friends seem more fun, because you know there’s an awesome woman waiting for you at home.

And now all of the areas of your life feel like they’re “clicking”. You’re on a roll!

But although your woman can enhance everything, she can’t “BE EVERYTHING”

You can’t count on her alone to make you happy.

Not only does that put a lot of pressure on her, she also doesn’t want to be your everything.

Most guys start to neglect the other areas of their life, and try and make her the sole provider of their happiness.

They slack off at their job They stop working out. They never hangout with their buddies anymore. And they don’t even notice, because they’re all wrapped up in the “high” of hanging out with the girl they like.

Who needs that “other stuff”?

But eventually there’s a price to pay for making her your everything.

You’re career is stalling. You’ve gained 10 pounds. Your friends don’t even call you anymore. And to make it worse, she is losing attraction for you because you’re around too much And now you’re starting to get needy, which turns her off more.

Instead, let her enhance all the areas of your life and make them feel more enjoyable. But never give those things up.

Remember, she can’t make you happy all by herself. (and she doesn’t want to)

But the final nail in the coffin is usually when it feels like the relationship has become more WORK than FUN for her.

Once the fun is gone, she is gone.

That’s why it’s so important to leave all of the negatives and “stress” behind when you take her out on a date. You can’t start talking about all of the problems going on in your lives.

Dating is supposed to be the welcome break from all of that stress.

I always advise you to never talk about the relationship. Because when you bring LOGIC into something emotional like a relationship, you take all of the MAGIC out of it.

But that’s when the relationship is going good.

It’s 10x worse to start talking about the relationship when things are going BAD.

Talking about what happened, why it happened, who’s to blame, and how it all started.

Who cares!

Just fix the issue. Don’t have long depressing talks about it.

Because if you keep talking about it, the relationship will start to feel like more work than fun –

And she will be gone.

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Believe me, she’s in no danger of being hurt.

And the only one that’s going to hurt here is YOU.

If she says she’s afraid of being hurt, it means that a guy has hurt her in the past.

Translation: she liked a guy who just wasn’t into her (and rejected her)

And to that I say, big deal.

We’ve all had to deal with someone who didn’t like us back. And as a guy, you’ve probably had to deal with the pain of being rejected more times than you can count.

However, you still would never tell a woman you like that you can’t “get together” because you’re scared of being hurt.

So…

When she tries to sell you on that she canceled your date because she’s just scared of being hurt, don’t buy into it. She isn’t really saying that to you anyway. She’s saying that to the negative challenge from her past who rejected her.

Plus, why should you have to pay for his sins?

You actually like this girl and she knows it.

Bottom line, if you buy into her excuse, you are making a huge mistake. You are rationalizing her low interest in you.

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