The BIG Delusion: despite people dying all around us, we don’t think it will ever happen to us. We can’t allow ourselves to think about that. It’s too scary, Same thing with relationships. All around you, divorce, drama, betrayal. But no, that would never happen to me, Until, like everyone else, it eventually does. Unless…

The Female Chase Toolbox: that sexy walk, the new eyeliner, the fingertip massage, the fluttering of her eyes, the feminine, She enjoys dipping into her toolbox. But she rarely gets the chance or even needs to. These guys are all putting her on a pedestal. These guys are all smitten already. How fun it would be to dip into the bag and pull out some of my best female tricks so i can win him over. He doesn’t let me play.

The “Lack of Manhood is your problem” Delusion: this whole industry built around biblical manhood. alpha awakening blah blah blah… as if this issue is we don’t chop wood anymore, or eat raw meat, or our muscles aren’t big enough and the new generation wears skinny jeans and hags in the metaverse

that’s not the issue. the real issue is, the real way to be a man in a woman’s eyes is – she can’t tame your humor or great mood (silly), you put a high price tag on your time, you can calmly say no and set boundaries and you can do something sweet once in a while (oh by the ay you have to be able to do this with a woman you are head over heels for and have 100% interest in) – emotional self control, delay gratification

that is manhood when it comes to women. now all that other stuff is great, but it’s not really that important when it comes to keeping a woman. Do that other stuff for yourself.

The toughest man in the world can have 100% interest and delay gratification and have self control. This is the hardest type of delayed gratification as well, we aren’t talking about waiting a week for a cheat day to have some pizza. We are talking about a woman you are madly in love with.

• not apologizing for like her (masculine)
• despite liking her – having self control, patience, and self respect to say no/have boundaries and standards (masculine)

Silly messaging beats attractive messaging

You could say….I don’t really like texting (meh, okay) or even better say, it’s hard for me to be serious over text, I’m a bit more serious in person… I’m all silly like a teenage girl on messaging, you’ll have to wait to see me in person.. I’m all hopped up on FUN DIP

—- when you message her, it makes her smile. when she’s with you, you make her smile. And when she’s THINKING about you, it makes her smile.

— just having a list of standards makes you more attractive than 90% of guys (no guy has a list of standards besides looks)

The pleasure chemicals from I’m getting something BETTER. (aka as the #1 feeling). She’s almost happen, it’s almost required for interest to be a few points lower for this to happen. And while you can’t artificially lower your IL (we aren’t robots) You can control yourself (the true masculine quality)

And the silly humor, the positive challenge, the ability to walk away or calmly say no, all of that stuff just CONFIRMS — I’m getting better. Chasing a guy tricks her brain into thinking, if I’m chasing him and putting in all this effort, he must be better. Let me release a bonanza of pleasure chemicals and feel great!

The negative challenge just provides the ILLUSION of better. ie. He’s not into me, so he must be better, Or he cheated, so he must be better. He was mean to me, so maybe he is better. But again, this is all an illusion that she must look past if she can find a guy that can actually give her a positive version of better.

Why is she with you? If she’s not with you because you provide her with the feeling of better, then it’s for another reason. Her agenda. Control? Nothing better going on (pun intended)

Feeling like you are getting something better release a bonanza of pleasure chemicals. And the crazy part is, sometimes you don’t even have her and you still feel amazing. This is why you’re still obsessed with her after 2 years.

The occasional pain you feel when she’s dating someone else or rejecting you, isn’t enough to overtake the pleasure you feel just by liking and trying to get someone better.

This is the same reason she continues to chase and stay with the bad boy for 5 years. It’s not about actually getting him. Or getting him to change. It’s about the pleasure of going after something better. He represents that drive for something better, Actually getting him would just be a bonus, *the only way she’s leaving or forgetting about him is to give her the positive version of better

Even if she’s not currently hung up on a negative challenge or has one on her past – we are all competing against the idea of capturing the unattainable. Just by liking her you are already at a disadvantage. Once the club let’s you in, it’s not as cool as the club that turns you away. Once a college accepts you it’s not as great is the one that you didn’t get into. And that’s all fine, just make sure to give her the positive version of better.

Whoever has the higher interest level gets the bonanza of pleasure chemicals for getting something better. And the one with the lower interest does not.

You’re just the next guy to come along on her quest for BETTER

1. I think he might be better, I’m intrigued (physical attraction, status) IL 60
2. I’m starting to conform that he is better (humor, challenge, he can calmly say no) IL 75
3. I’m chasing him and he allows me to keep putting in the effort to keep him interested (yep, it’s confirmed, this I am getting something better) IL 90
4. My brain rewards me with a bonanza of pleasure chemicals and I feel amazing IL 100